MODESTO'S MOST WANTED

Take a good look at this picture: HAVE YOU SEEN THESE TWO?




They are the notorious Scarecrow Troy and Spider-Lance. These pint-sized tricksters are still at large. Here's another mug shot:




Surveillance cameras caught the two before their candy raid.




Don't let those innocent faces fool you. Local police has issued a warning: These are hardened candy addicts.




They were last spotted extorting candy from innocent Modesto residents...




Even brazenly posing for pictures before disappearing with their loot!




Unconfirmed reports pinpointed the two at the local McDonald's after their candy-grabbing rampage. A witness, who refused to be identified, snapped this shot of Scarecrow Troy along with two other members of the Candy Raid Gang.




These accomplices were identified as Big Daddy Lorenzo and Little Baby Reanna. It was Big Daddy Lorenzo who drove the white getaway minivan, while Little Baby Reanna distracted the victims with her toothless grin.




Spider-Lance, whose mask gave him helmet hair on Halloween night, can best be recognized from behind through his two cowlicks (known in Tagalog as "puyo"). It is widely speculated that a bad hair day pushed this hardened trickster into a life of candy-snatching.




Scarecrow Troy, on the other hand, can be identified by his strange habit of licking the salt from his French fries one by one...




and leaving them, uneaten, in his trademark soggy pile.


(I'm done, Mom!)


Make no mistake. These two are disarmingly dangerous.




The local sheriff has announced a one million chocolate dollar reward for any information leading to their whereabouts and capture. Volunteers are standing by to take your call at 1-888-SUGAR RUSH.

And yes, you may choose to remain anonymous.


(THIS JUST IN...A Prada Mama Exclusive! The PM Chronicles staff has tracked down the mother of Scarecrow Troy and Spider-Lance. Read her first-hand account of how candy lured her boys away from the straight and narrow in "DOUBLE TREAT", at 87 Gentle Street. And remember, you heard it first HERE.)

(Prada Mama's NOTE: With "THE BOYS OF SUMMER" series occupying these web pages of late, I've been remiss in coming out with updates on my baby daughter, Reanna.

Reanna is now five and a half months old. It's amazing how much she's grown. I took this latest picture of her while she was perched on her Daddy's lap.


(My little princess, Reanna.)


In a predictable display of mother's guilt, I have decided to come out with an entire series on my darling daughter in MY OTHER SITE, 87 Gentle Street, entitled "THE REANNA MONOLOGUES". Indeed, the time has come for her story to be told.

For now, however, join me as I go back to the place where I had my first premonition of her coming.

This took place about a year ago, when I went to Costco with my sisters-in-law, Selina and Grace. I won't tell you what happened back then, reserving it for Reanna's series, but suffice it to say that aside from the expected claustrophobia which overtook me when I returned, I also felt an unmistakable pang of deja vu ...)


COSTCO REVISITED

Two nights ago, Lorenzo and I finally buckled in our resolve and gave ourselves totally in to temptation, on two counts, no less.

1) We finally got ourselves Costco memberships, and
2) We finally applied for THE CARD.

I was never really enamored with the idea of wholesale shopping, which is a totally American concept. Leave it to the world's strongest bastion of capitalism to come up with the concept of charging people for buying privileges. I thought I learned my lesson 10 years ago, when I paid $10 for my Sam's Club Card, and never used it again. After that, I vowed to stay away from these huge shopping behemoths.

Lucky for me, I was surrounded by people who happily heeded the siren call of commercialism. My mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law ALL had Costco cards, so every time I felt like buying a barrelful of ketchup, I knew they were just a phone call away.

And so we stayed strong and steadfast, Lorenzo and I, content to join other family members on the occasional shopping jaunt without having to pay the $45 annual membership fee. Through the years, I was lulled into thinking we were invincible. We were impervious to assault. Temptation? Ha! We laughed in the face of temptation!

Alas, temptation laughed back, all the way to the bank in fact. Because temptation found a chink in my husband's armor. Temptation found his Achilles' heel. And now, with our heads bowed in defeat, I shake my fist at our newly bought bounty, the lure of which Lorenzo found so hard to resist:

CURSE YOU, OH PROTEIN POWDER!

But all was not lost. Because we went to Costco that night, Lorenzo and I finally got ourselves THE CARD.

Through the years, Lorenzo and I would always receive pre-approved applications for the American Express card (my husband more often than me). It was flattering at first. Nothing says "you've arrived" better than owning one of those. But through the years, we let American Express fan our egos without letting them in the door, politely declining with a "we'll make do with our lowly VISAs and MasterCards for now, thank you".

While signing up for our Costco membership, however, we were asked if we wanted to apply for the American Express True Earnings Card. Shannon, the garden-variety blonde at the counter explained that IF we were approved, we would get 3% cash back for eating out, 2% cash back for travel and 1% cash back for all other purchases, plus everything would be interest-free for the next three months, and finally, (the piece-de-resistance) since we got it at Costco, there would be NO ANNUAL FEE.

Yes, she said this all in one breath. Except for the piece-de-resistance thing, which I doubt she could've spelled, let alone pronounced.

With such an enticing come-on, we knew resistance was futile. We gladly signed the application form, and were informed that same evening by the very same Shannon (who hunted us down) that we were approved. She gave us our temporary card. In less than two weeks, she promised, we would receive THE CARD in the mail.

Great. I wanted to say, "we need more cash, not more credit, thank you", but kept it to myself like the good girl I was. Oh well, I rationalized, just because we HAVE it doesn't mean we'll have to USE it. Besides, with no annual fee it doesn't cost us anything to keep it in our wallets for sheer snob appeal.

And so, in a marvelous display of defiance and restraint, we put away our temporary card and paid CASH for our purchases.

Carting away our precious loot, we filed past the final checkpoint, where eagle-eyed checkers closely perused our receipt to see if the numbers matched our purchases. I thought this was kind of stupid. Considering the whole point of wholesale shopping is buying in bulk, it sort of takes the fun out of shoplifting, don't you think? I mean, even they should know it takes considerable skill to smuggle out a BALE of toilet paper.

But again, I kept my peace, meek as a lamb, even mustering a smile at the hatchet-faced lady as she handed back my receipt along with Costco's holiday catalog.

I must've really been cowed by her foreboding presence to accept that catalog without thinking. BIG MISTAKE.

My second mistake was not chucking it in the bin as soon as we crossed the exit. Instead, I harbored it like a fugitive, taking it with me to the snack stand as I ordered pizza and polish sausages. Even then, I could've used the wretched thing as a placemat and tossed it out along with the kraut. But NO, silly unsuspecting little me took the harmless-looking stowaway back to my van, never realizing the folly of my actions.

And when we got home, I made my final, fatal mistake. I took that catalog INSIDE our house. Indeed, it looked innocuous enough in its final resting place, the magazine rack in my powder room. There it lay, dormant like the Ebola virus, waiting to prey on the first live host it could find. And, true to form, it didn't take long before my precocious son, Lance, wandered into deepest, darkest Africa.

Within minutes, the house was a Hot Zone. It didn't matter where Mommy or Daddy was. Lance would root us out, dragging the catalog, which he had since laid claim to. "Mom, can I have this for my birthday?"..."Dad, I want this for Christmas, okay?" With such graphic delights contained within, it wasn't long before Troy was infected as well.

I considered confiscating the catalog, but the damage was done. The fever had taken over both of my boys. I took full responsibility, berating myself belatedly. With Lance's fifth birthday coming in two week's time, I should've known we were fair game.

And so we wait with bated breath for November 9, which we were promised was the latest date we would receive THE CARD by. My new best friend, the American Express Customer Service lady, said we would probably receive it before then, but to call her on the 9th if it didn't show up in the mail. I took her name, fully intending to do so.

Why? Because Lance's birthday is on November 12, which I just realized is a mere six weeks before Christmas. And since it is now just two weeks before that date, it logically follows that Christmas is soon on its way.

Once again, the holiday season sneaked in through our back door, catching us flat-footed and present-less. I make a mad scramble for my checkbook to check my flagging resources, and slump down in resignation.

It looks like we'll need THE DARN CARD after all!

(Prada Mama's NOTE: This is my stepson, Chris, featured here with my baby daughter, Reanna:


(Christopher and Reanna Sereno.)


Chris turned fifteen on October 13. We celebrated his birthday with a picnic at the park last weekend. It was supposed to be a surprise, with other family members at the park waiting for us, but since we, ourselves, brought the food, we sort of blew our cover.

The venue was at SHADOW CLIFFS REGIONAL RECREATION AREA in Pleasanton, CA. We visited the park to go boating over the summer, and I wrote a piece on it to be included in the "BOYS OF SUMMER" series, supposedly under the title "SAILOR BOYS".

However, seeing that we've returned since then, I have integrated the two stories to come up with a new item on the menu, called...)


SWEET-N-SORE PARK



(A walk by the lake at Shadow Cliffs.)


Saturday in the park
I think it was the fourth of July...

So goes one of my favorite Chicago songs, from a time when the band was still kick-ass cool, way before MTV reduced them to a group of ballad-spewing oldies, battling mid-life crisis by frolicking with nubile PYT's in their videos. Those from my generation should know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I love this song because it brings me back to my younger days, when picnics in the park meant cooking food, packing it along with plates, cups and utensils, and carting the whole shebang to nearby Parks and Wildlife in Quezon City. There, my parents and the maids would set up while me and my sisters would see who could go higher in the nearby swings.

I have always loved parks. When I was a toddler in Baguio, a trip to the park meant balloons, picnics, ice cream, boating and bicycling in Burnham Park, and horseback-riding at nearby Wright Park. In Manila, it was spur-of-the-moment trips to Luneta with my Lola, watching the skaters circumnavigate the globe and feeling the spray from the fountain. The kids would swarm to the many swings and slides, taking breaks to buy Royal Tru-Orange and triangle sandwiches wrapped in plastic at the vendor's booths.

For some reason, those sandwiches, which were filled with ham and egg, tuna or chicken salad, would ALWAYS taste better at the park. Perhaps it was because they cut the crust off the bread.

Now that I have a family of my own, I notice the same magic effect on my children when I cut the crust off. It is for the purpose of prolonging this age of wonder that I find myself resurrecting the Park experience for my kids, in the hope that they would also find delight in the simple stuff.

Lorenzo and I love discovering new places to bring our brood to. Last August, we heard about Shadow Cliffs when our former congregation had their church outing there. I read the e-mailed description and immediately liked the sound of it: swimming, boating, picnicking, birdwatching and fishing. They even had a water slide park in the premises!

So early one weekend, we bundled up the kids, had breakfast at McDonald's and proceeded to the park, which is about an hour away from Modesto.

When we got to Pleasanton, we stopped at the Town Center to stock up on provisions. One of the perks of living in the age of instant gratification is the advent of the full-service deli counter. Within minutes, I materialized with piping hot fried chicken, crispy potato wedges, Chinese fried rice, potato salad and country style biscuits. An instant picnic, courtesy of the friendly neighborhood Safeway!

We proceeded to the picnic site and paid the $6 parking fee. The beach area was swarming with people so we parked by the boating dock. Luckily, we found a picnic table under the shade with an unobstructed view of the lake.


(Our picnic spot.)


The kids couldn't wait to ride the boats. After eating our picnic lunch, we headed over to the Boat Rental shack. The rates were reasonable: $20/hour for a rowboat and $25 for an electric motor boat. I figured for the five dollar difference, I'd rather have an electric motor do the dirty work, so I signed us up for an hour on an electric boat.

The $25 included life vest rentals for everyone. I was happy to find out that they had an infant vest for 3 1/2 month old Reanna too. Soon enough, everyone was suited up and ready to go!


(All aboard!)


Upon boarding the boat, I wondered why there were a couple of oars on the floor. Didn't we just pay five dollars extra for an ELECTRIC boat? Whatever. I wasn't about to be picky. Nevertheless, I breathed a sigh of relief when the guy explained the boat's controls to us. Okay, I thought, move this way to go left and that way to turn right. No mention of oars. It's gotta be electric.

With a final wave, the man launched us out into the water, and we settled in for a relaxing ride.


(Ahoy me mateys!)


Unfortunately, we soon found out that an electric boat wasn't all it was cracked up to be. That sorry thing was SO SLOW, we had to row anyway. At first, it wasn't too bad. Lance and Troy sang "Row, Row, Row your boat..." while Mommy and Daddy did an actual demonstration.


(Daddy's muscles came in handy!)


By the end of our session, however, the smiles were gone from our faces, replaced by grim determination. We had gone a bit too far, we were nowhere near the dock, and the wind was going against us. My poor husband was getting frustrated with me already, since I was a novice at the controls and kept getting confused with the steering. Finally, I just gave up and grabbed an oar myself.

And so we drifted on, Lorenzo barking directions from behind me. "Left" and "Right" were simple enough to follow, even for a landlubber like me. I could feel my muscles complaining due to the unexpected workout, and knew there would be hell to pay later.

When twenty minutes had elapsed past our return time, and we were still halfway back, the boat's proprietor decided it was time to stage a rescue. Using a motorboat (a GAS one, this time), he chugged over with a towline and promptly pulled us in.

As I planted my feet safely on terra firma, I didn't know whether to thank the guy or strangle him. Calling that piece of junk an electric MOTOR boat was misleading at best. Considering the ducks were faster that we were, it was downright false advertising if you ask me.

This is one reason why this piece is called Sweet-n-Sore Park. I was so sore from the experience, I actually felt sick for days.

Fast forward to the present.


(Same place, different season.)


By now, the sore muscles were relegated to memory and I was raring to return to Shadow Cliffs, this time to celebrate my stepson Chris' 15th birthday.


(Chris at 15.)


Chris and his older brother, Joey, are Lorenzo's sons from his previous marriage. I've already posted pictures of Chris in this site, but I don't think I've featured Joey yet. Joey also happens to be a LORENZO Jr.. He is 16 and he dotes on his younger siblings. Here he is with his baby sister, Reanna:


(Joey,16, and Reanna, 5 1/2 months.)


Joey and Chris both live with their mother, so we only get to see them on weekends. When I found out we were going to have them the weekend after Chris' birthday, I made plans for a surprise picnic in the park for my stepsons. Unfortunately, not everyone in the family could make it, but we tried to make do with the numbers we had, for Christopher's sake.

So there we were, just our family and that of Severino's, Lorenzo's older brother. Kuya Sever and his wife, Anna, made it a point to be there, rushing to the park after the dental appointments of their sons, Thomas and Vernon. I'm not sure if we told them back then, but their presence last Saturday meant so much to Lorenzo and me.

This time around, the park was deserted. The summer crowd was replaced by gaggles of wild geese and droves of ducks. I guess Shadow Cliffs was one of their stops in their annual trip down south. There was a sprinkling of other people, but most of them were at the fishing docks. The Boating area, on the other hand, was deserted, so it felt like we pretty much had the park to ourselves.


(Setting up by the boats.)


As soon as we got there, everyone attacked the pizza, deli sandwiches and chicken. Troy had a field day with the strawberries. This was how he looked before I cleaned him up:


(Troy's strawberry-smeared smile.)


Then the kids went to play by the lake. Sever's older son, Thomas, joined Lorenzo's big boys, Joey and Chris in skipping rocks. As expected, the younger ones, Lance, Troy and Sever's two-year-old, Vernon, followed their kuyas to the shore. I gathered the leftover pizza crusts and took them to the little boys, who had a field day feeding the ducks. I loved hearing their squeals of delight when the ducks raced to their tossed offerings.


(Playing by the lake.)


When the pizza crusts ran out, I gave the kids leftover strawberries, but soon discovered that ducks were indifferent to this gourmet item on the menu. Unfortunately, with no more food to offer, the boys started picking stones off the ground, just so they could toss SOMETHING at the poor ducks. When little Vernon started picking up duck kaka to throw in the lake, we knew it was time for a diversion, so Lorenzo called all the kids for a picture in one of the boats.


(The boys in the boat.)


After that, it was time to wash everybody's hands as Chris was about to blow out the candle on his cake. We were a little delayed because Vernon kept picking up duck kaka after his hands were washed. After the third hand-washing session, Kuya Sever savvied up and kept an eagle eye on him so we could FINALLY take this picture.


(Make a wish!)


Don't let the cake's diminutive size fool you. It was rich golden cake filled with chocolate mousse and vanilla cream, so a little slice went a long way.

When everyone was done with their cake, it was close to the park's closing time so we cleaned up and loaded the vans. We vowed to return the next day, this time with Kuya Sever's fishing pole, but alas, the good weather didn't hold.

It wasn't long before everything was packed and ready. We took a final pause to take these last pictures...


(Bright smiles...)


(...and happy Faces.)


...and were soon on our way.

Happy 15th Birthday, Chris!

(Prada Mama's NOTE: I am briefly putting my "BOYS OF SUMMER" series on hold to remember my father one last time. October 18 is my Dad's fifth death anniversary. I thought I'd already told all the stories I had to tell about him in "REMEMBERING DADDY", my little tribute to him last March. I was wrong. There is one more story, which I am now sharing with you in true Halloween spirit...)


DADDY AND MY HALLOWEEN WEDDING STORY

This is my wedding picture.


(Our Lake Tahoe wedding.)


Those of you with image overload from this site should know our faces by now, and you may have noticed that something's not quite right with Lorenzo in the shot above. My husband does NOT have a receding hairline. On the contrary, Lorenzo has a FULL head of hair.

Now this little glitch could be attributed to a number of factors. I would be the first to admit that the image is a crude picture-to-picture transfer using our digicam. However, in the spirit of Halloween, I would prefer to imagine that this is my Dad's attempt at being playful again, even in the afterlife.

Lorenzo and I got married on July 31, 2000 in beautiful Lake Tahoe, located in the border between California and Nevada. For those of you who haven't been to Lake Tahoe, imagine Baguio with a huge alpine lake in the middle of it. Tres romantique!

When we got married, we had just moved back from the Philippines and our social circle was still quite limited. Our wedding was an intimate family affair, with just 40 guests present. Apart from our immediate family, the only other people who were there were our pastor and his wife, our wedding singers, and our principal sponsors.

We had a rehearsal dinner the night before. Even then, I could already feel that Daddy was close by. But he made his presence felt in a subtle way. Nothing scary, just an odd feeling of...reassurance, if that makes any sense.

Uncle Virgil Romeroso, our principal Ninong, was very gregarious that evening. Considering he and his Japanese wife, Auntie June flew in for the ceremony, he seemed positively fresh and dapper. While waiting for our food, he and my Mom, both alumni of the University of the Philippines, started a conversation. Before long, Uncle Virgil was belting out old tunes, singing to my mother in the presence of his own WIFE!

Now, spontaneously breaking out in song was my Dad's thing. It didn't matter where he was or whom he was with, if Daddy felt like singing, he would happily give in to the urge. Daddy didn't give much warning either, just a discreet cough to clear his throat before launching into a full vocal assault. But Daddy was just the sort of person who could get away with things like that. He had such a fair voice that innocent bystanders (who initially jumped upon hearing the first notes) would be converted into a captive audience by the song's end. Sometimes my Dad would even get APPLAUSE!

Anyway, as Uncle Virgil crooned standards to my mother, I briefly entertained the thought that my Dad was behind the sudden serenade, but I chided myself for being overly romantic. By the end of the rehearsal dinner, however, when Uncle Virgil INSISTED on paying the tab, I knew it with certainty: My Dad had possessed our Ninong.

How very much like Daddy...still galante, even as a ghost!

My Dad's playful nature again surfaced the day after the ceremony. Our Honeymoon Suite was a HUGE 2-bedroom affair with a big-screen TV, a complete sound system, and 2 luxurious bathrooms, one of them with a Jacuzzi looking out onto Lake Tahoe. Lorenzo had already settled into the hot tub and was waiting for me to join him. As I was getting ready, I distinctly heard him say the word "massage".

When I was finally beside him, I jokingly said "massadz?". He gave me a questioning look. Turns out he NEVER said the word "massage". I immediately thought about Daddy again.

My Dad would always ask my sisters and me for massages when we were little. A "massage" back then meant we would walk all over Daddy's back. It was fun when we were small, but it got to be quite boring after a while so poor Daddy had to do away with his massages eventually.

Hmmm..."Massage". I think I'll chalk that one down as Close Encounter #2.

Still, these incidents are not necessarily indicative of paranormal activity. For all I know, Uncle Virgil could just be a frustrated Rat Packer. And besides, everyone in our intimate circle is familiar with Lorenzo's penchant for scaring people. After seeing him flash the whites of his eyes to me (with no visible sign of his eyeballs) for what seems to be the thousandth time, it CAN be quite frustrating.

However, there remains one occurrence which we have never been able to explain up to now. It happened on the day of the wedding itself:

There we were, at THE RIDGE TAHOE, an exclusive mountain resort nestled in the pines. We had chosen the Clubhouse at The Ridge over other locations due to its cozy mountain lodge setting, which was perfect for an intimate wedding like ours. The ceremony was scheduled to take place at the romantic Valley View Room, aptly named because the far wall was a HUGE picture window looking out at the Tahoe Mountains and Carson Valley.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The ceremony had begun. The Bridal entourage was walking down the aisle. The Groom was standing in front, his Best Man beside him, and the Bride was hidden in another function room (which doubled as her dressing room), waiting to be called for that final walk alone.

The full significance of what was about to happen struck me as I waited for the wedding planner, whose job it was to signal me when it was time for my appearance. All of a sudden, I missed my Dad in the most heart-wrenching way. It was so unfair that Daddy couldn't be there with me, walking me down the aisle. His absence struck a void in my heart, leaving me with a stark feeling of loneliness...nay, ALONENESS captures it more.

Finally, the door opens and in breezes Lana Novak, our wedding planner. Lana is a slim, elegant blonde whose ability to stay cool in the midst of chaos led her to pursue her true calling. This time, it was her duty to soothe the emotional bride, who was ready to burst into tears at any moment. She made small, cheerful talk as she did a final check on my gown and make-up.

Of course, as soon as she opened her mouth, the floodgates opened with nothing to stem the tide. I didn't even hear what she had to say. At that moment she could've belted out "The Killing Moon" with full Echo and the Bunnymen flourish, and I would've cried anyway.

Between Lana and the pastor's wife, they were able to lead the shaking mass of satin and seed pearls that was me to my waiting mother, who was more than ready to give me away, especially after I plaintively blurted out, "I wish Daddy were here". Great attempt at tactlessness, Renee. Go ahead and alienate your mother some more, will you?

Lucky for me, my Mom didn't take offense. She knew I was in a highly emotional state, and couldn't be made accountable for irresponsible remarks. Well...I was exempted for THAT day anyway!

And so Mom and I marched down the aisle, slowly taking each step towards my dashing groom. I was thankful for my veiled mantilla, which partially obscured my swollen, tear-streaked face. My Mom, on the other hand, perfectly held her poise despite my bone-crushing grip on her hand.

We plodded forward, my mother beaming at our guests as I sobbed inconsolably. It was the longest walk of my life, but we finally reached our destination. When our Pastor asked "who gives this woman away in holy matrimony", I heard my Mom say "I do" in a firm, proud tone. In that moment, she looked even taller than her svelte 5'4" frame.

My mother held her composure for all of 2 seconds. What followed was a mother-daughter bear hug of such gargantuan proportions that we were both reduced to emotional putty by the time she took her seat. Needless to say, after witnessing such a touching show of love and support, there was nary a dry eye in sight.

And so it was that Don Lorenzo and Prada Mama became Mr. And Mrs. Lorenzo Sereno. It was a beautiful ceremony. Very simple and personal, yet meaningful to all those who witnessed it. Our wedding singers, Emmanuel Sazon and Grace Flores, did a wonderful job. To this day, we still get misty-eyed when we hear "Through All the Years", the Christian song which we have come to know as our "Wedding Song".

Indeed, through the years, Manny and Grace have made this song their very own, so much so that their rendition of it is even better than the original! Of course, it was inevitable that our wedding singers got married to each other as well. Share the magic. Another bit of Sereno wedding trivia.

By the end of the ceremony, everyone could smell the well-laden buffet at the adjacent room, which was normally the Club's fine dining room but was reserved for the Sereno party that day. Unfortunately for the guests' growling stomachs, however, there was still the boring business of picture-taking to attend to.

And so Lana Novak patiently called out the names of the parties..."the Bride's family in front pleeease, followed by the groom's family...", while the photographer snapped his formal shots.

After what seemed like an eternity and a multitude of poses and locations, we were down to the last picture. It was simple enough, a picture of the Bride and Groom with their parents. Lana called "Parents of the Grooooom..." and my in-laws materialized. My mother was already beside me at the time, so all parties were present and accounted for when Lana called for the parents of the Bride.

We were already assembled in front wearing our best smiles when Lana called out again: "Parents of the Briiide...?" I quickly pointed out to her that my Mom was already there.

"What about your Dad?" she asked.

"My Dad passed away," I replied.

"Does your Mom have a husband? A boyfriend?"

"My husband's in New York," my Mom answered.

Lana seemed puzzled. "I'm sorry, but wasn't there a man beside you during the ceremony? I just assumed you guys were together..."

Silence.

My Mom was ALONE the whole time. Or so she thought...

I guess Daddy made it to my wedding after all.


(Mr. and Mrs. Lorenzo Sereno, July 31, 2000.)

(Prada Mama's NOTE: For those of you who have just tuned in, we are moving along in the "BOYS OF SUMMER" series, Prada Mama's recap of Sereno Summer 2004, starring the three Lorenzos in her life...


(Lorenzo, Lorenzo and Lorenzo.)


After being displaced as Baby in the family and having his soft, Samson-like tresses unceremoniously clipped, my baby boy Troy's rite of passage from toddler to three-year-old needed some serious sweetening up. Lucky for me, my kids are easy. For Lance and Troy, nothing can be sweeter than a birthday party. And so, for his third birthday, Troy, my Former and Forever Baby, was feted in the following account, entitled...)


BIRTHDAY BOY

On July 17, 2004, Lorenzo Troy Sereno had a date with Peter Parker.


(Troy, my Birthday Boy.)


On that sunny Saturday, Troy, my treasured toddler, turned three in sleek Spiderman style, as friends and family alike turned up at Galaxy 12 Theaters in Riverbank, CA, for Troy's Special Birthday Screening of "Spiderman 2".


(Troy's "Spiderman 2" Movie Party, Galaxy 12, Riverbank, CA.)


Now, everybody knows I'm a softie when it comes to birthdays. And when it comes to my kids, the sky's the limit! Max, my firstborn, celebrated his third birthday at the Manila Peninsula Hotel's Rigodon Ballroom complete with clowns, a magician, a Little Tikes playground and Glico's rides, and that's just for the kids! The adults among the guests had a string quartet, two buffet carving stations and an open bar to keep them happy. People who peeked in actually thought there was a debut going on!

Needless to say, I've gotten a little more grounded since then. But I still try to give everyone a good time. Name any kind of party and chances are, I've done it. As my kids and step-kids bear witness, I've done Chuck E. Cheese (who hasn't?), mini-golf at Golfland, go-karts and DDR at Camelot Park, even a surprise bowling-in-the-dark party for my stepson, Joey!

Of course, I've gone the traditional route too, like birthdays in the park. Troy's first birthday party was a particularly memorable one, where the WHOLE family came for the first time in years. Then there was my stepson Chris' picnic at Knights Ferry last year, where the kids went crawdad fishing in the shadow of a rustic covered bridge.

You may notice a definite trend going AWAY from the home here, and I can explain. It's not because I consider birthday parties done at home to be declasse. I've even thrown a few of them myself, mostly swimming parties because they're easy. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law also have swimming pools, so the Sereno children are understandably blase when it comes to swimming parties. And so you see, when it comes to entertaining my family, I have to think out of the box.

Besides, I'm a horrible housekeeper and an even worse cook. And when you are both, you aim for distraction when it comes to food and venues. And so I've patiently gone down the list, ticking them off one by one: Arcade? Done that. Mini-golf? Done that. Bowling? Done that. Roller King? Too rough. (Wait till they're older?) Laser tag? Too rowdy. (Wait till they're older!) McDonald's? Reserve for cold weather. Hmmm...Movies? NOW we're talking.

And so it was decided early on that Troy would have a Movie Party for his third birthday.

I started canvassing theaters months before. I compared packages, pricing, parking, and party rooms. In the end, it was a toss-up between Brenden Theaters in downtown Modesto and Galaxy 12 in nearby Riverbank. After an ocular inspection of both, I decided on Galaxy 12, where $13.50 per child (minimum of 10) gets you a movie ticket, popcorn, soda, candy, 2 hours in the Party Zone and a tour of the Projection Room. (Brenden was twenty-five cents more and they DIDN'T have the tour.)


(Outside the Party Room.)


And so, shortly after 2:30 PM, friends and family alike piled into the private Party Zone upstairs and feasted on piping hot pizza and pitchers of root beer.


(The Beggars' Banquet.)


Then we brought out the piece-de-resistance, a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake with their limited edition pink-and-purple cotton candy ice cream (Troy's favorite) topping a moist layer of chocolate cake. Of course, it was a "Spiderman 2" cake, with "Spidey" and "Doc Ocs" making cameos atop the blue and white webbed icing.


(Troy's "Spiderman 2" cake.)


Troy had help on standby to blow out his candle, but he managed to do it on his own...


(Make a wish!)


That poor cake was decimated in no time flat. When it was time to give away loot bags and open presents, all of us had blue teeth.


(Troy with his sparkling blue teeth.)


Mommy and Daddy like to keep everybody happy, so Lance got some "birthday" presents as well. Troy and Lance alternated opening their gifts, mostly Spiderman stuff with the occasional sprinkling of Thomas the Tank Engine.


(Troy and Thomas the Tank Engine.)


(Lance got a Spiderman present too!)


Then the whole party was given a tour of the theater's Projection Room. We saw the giant rolls of film being threaded into the alien looking machines. We even got to peek in at the different movies playing in the theater!


(Projection Room tour.)


Unfortunately, we had to cut the tour short because "Spiderman 2" was about to begin. Before we left, however, we were assured by the projectionist that he would wait until we were seated before starting the movie. Of course, this made us feel even MORE special!

After the tour, everyone got souvenir strips of celluloid before the Party Coordinator herded us down the elevator and through the hall, our group cutting a clean swathe through the Saturday afternoon movie crowd. Our final destination was Cinema 6, for the 4:30 matinee showing of "Spiderman 2".

It was a wonderful party. Very hassle-free from the standpoint of a very harried Mom. Indeed, all I had to worry about were the invitations, cake and goodie bags. Galaxy 12 took care of the rest. They even cordoned off an entire row of choice seats for our party before opening their doors to the general public. Very helpful, considering the show was sold out.

After we settled in to our seats, each of us got a Kid's Party Pack containing popcorn, soda and candy to sustain us through the two hours of "Spiderman 2". Then it was back to the party room for more pizza, cake and root beer.


(We want seconds!)


"Spiderman 2" was a joy to watch. One of those rare sequels that turned out to be better than the original. It was funny at the right moments and surprisingly suspenseful, even to a jaded Mom/Stepmom of six. I found myself totally carried away at times that Lorenzo had to chide me for talking too animatedly to my friend, April.

He was right, of course. We were being too loud and I'm sure the hoi polloi around us didn't appreciate the running commentary, but I couldn't help it. I was high on life! Troy was happy, everyone else was having fun, and I was totally enjoying myself. Then again, maybe the company had a lot to do with it.


(Happy Birthday Troy!)


It was a very memorable experience, and I would do it again in a heartbeat! I didn't think I'd be able to pull it off, since what Troy REALLY wanted was a "Harry Potter" movie party, but "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" had already finished its run by the time his birthday came along. Good thing Spiderman came to the rescue!

Judging from his beaming smile after the movie, I don't think Troy minded at all!


(Troy's beaming face. My reward for a job well done!)

(Prada Mama's NOTE: The word for the day is androgynous: "giving an impression of ambiguous sexual identity". Think David Bowie. Annie Lennox. Boy George. Troy Sereno?


(Pretty Boy: Troy in ponytails.)


By the time I gave birth to my daughter Reanna, my son Troy was beginning to resemble a girl himself. It was MY fault, actually. Troy was born with such beautiful baby hair in a delicious light shade of brown. I didn't want to cut it, so I kept putting it off until I couldn't rationalize much longer. With Troy's third birthday coming soon, we knew the time had come. And so, with a heavy heart, I present to you the latest offering in "THE BOYS OF SUMMER" series...)


BOYS DON'T CRY...

(Even though MOMS sometimes do!)

Such was the scene on July 8, 2004.

THE SETTING: Kidz Club, Milpitas, CA. (specialty: kids cuts.)
THE CHARACTERS: The Sereno family, starring TROY.
THE PLOT: Lorenzo and Renee travel 80 miles for Troy's first haircut.
THE MOOD: Happy, in general. Daddy's standing by with hankies for Mommy, JUST IN CASE...

After all, this was officially Troy's LAST day with his baby hair. We waited long enough for this event, just nine days shy of three years, to be exact. But we knew it had to be done eventually. And so, on that beautiful summer day, we found ourselves back in our old neighborhood, to the place where Lance also had his first haircut: Kidz Club. I wouldn't trust Troy's tresses with anyone else.

Now Kidz Club isn't your everyday, run-of-the-mill chop-shop. They're a little more expensive, but I guess all the extra bucks go to maintaining the unusual barber's chairs, shaped like airplanes, tractors and even a Batmobile!

Aside from the props, my kids love the playhouse and toys in the waiting area, which features toys for the BIG BOYS too. It wasn't long before Daddy busied himself with the vintage 80's "Space Invaders" video console, a blast from the not-so-distant past.

And so we settled in for the wait, Mommy nursing Reanna while the three Lorenzos played. A little boy was scheduled before us. As soon as he was aboard his airplane, however, all chaos broke loose. The poor kid was hysterical, and his haircut hadn't even started yet!

I was afraid this was having a negative effect on my son, so I silently willed these people away. Imagine me, smiling indulgently at the tantrum-throwing toddler, while the inner me was saying "Go away. You're spooking Troy!"

Finally, the boy's mother and grandmother gave up on their willful charge. All too soon, it seemed, for now the wait was over and it was Troy's turn at the barber's err...tractor!


(Troy in his John Deere tractor.)


And so, after almost three years of waiting, we finally had our baby's hair cut.


(Just a clippety-clip...)


Troy tolerated it quite well.


(And a snippety-snip...)


Aside from the toys, which Sue (the resident hair wizard) handed over as a distraction, the playful atmosphere also went a long way to calm the jitters.


(And a little bit off the top!)


And when things got rough, Daddy was there to extend a soothing hand...


(Daddy lends a hand as Sue snips away!)


With such awesome moral support, Troy sailed through the whole experience with a smile on his face. Actually, in this case, it was MOMMY, not Troy, who was holding back the tears.


(Gee...this isn't so bad after all!)


This is why we traveled 80 miles one-way just for a haircut. We wanted to make sure that Troy's first experience was a pleasant one. Of course, we caught it all on videotape, aside from almost filling an entire memory card with pictures.


(Just keep it rolling, Daddy!)


And since this is MY family we're talking about, we ended up making this another Sereno Family Event. By the end of the day, Sue and her assistant had cut everybody else's hair except for Reanna's. In solidarity with Troy, Lance, Mommy and Daddy had their hair trimmed as well!


(Hey, Lance got a haircut too!)


And when it was done, Lance and Troy chose lollipops from the treat jar. Sue also gave us extra ones for the long trip back home. She swept Troy's precious hair off the floor and placed it in an envelope for Mommy. Before sealing it, however, she chose a little lock of hair. This she placed in a tiny little baggie, which she stuck to Troy's "First Haircut Certificate", which read:


"This is to certify that TROY SERENO
SURVIVED THE EXPERIENCE OF A FIRST HAIRCUT
on the 8th day of July in the year 2004."


This is one instance where Harry Potter can just step aside. Because on THAT particular day, July 8, 2004, Troy Sereno WAS "The Boy Who Lived".

And he got a certificate to prove it!


(Troy's Proof of Valor.)