87 Gentle Street*: November 2005

REGARDING JULIO DIAZ

I recently got this e-mailed response to FILIPINO FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE, an article I wrote a couple of years ago, which I featured both here and in 87 GENTLE STREET.

"...Re: Julio Diaz

I saw your blog about Julio's inappropriate comments to you. In response I'd say, you're absolutely right to think Julio is "rude" and perhaps "crass". But you know what, that's only because you don't get to know him real well as a person & do not consider him a friend, as he does you. His comments, while inappropriate, are actually Julio's way of expressing his concern for you.

Having been raised in Quiapo by a single mom who sells cigarette for a living. Julio, who as a child was too busy working to help his mom and 3 sisters so they can eat 3 square meals a day, never had the time to learn the social courtesies you expected him to have. In fairness, despite the poverty, Julio was still able to send himself through college and became an accomplished actor. There's no excuse for Julio's actions, but you can be more understanding of others who "were not brought up properly by their parents? It is said "Being tolerant is to respect others' differences... the way they look, their religions, their way of life. It is also to be interested in other people, to see what makes them similar rather than what makes them different. It is to say NO to prejudice."

Ana Marie..."

Now, I'm not at all sure if this same person happens to be Julio's wife. I am assuming it is, since she seems comfortable enough to speak on his behalf, not to mention her last initial also happens to be "D". Wife or not, I am now sharing my response to this e-mail.

Hi Ana Marie.

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to reply to your e-mail. With my son's birthday and the Thanksgiving holiday passing, I'm afraid I've ignored my computer altogether. I dread even looking at the long list of e-mails I have, just waiting to be read.

First of all, I would like to thank you for setting the story clear as far as Julio's intentions behind his comments to me, and if they were, in fact, his way of expressing concern towards me, then I guess they were misinterpreted and for that, I apologize.

I am well aware of Julio's story: how he fought his way out of poverty through strength of character, fortitude and sheer talent. I knew this even before I met him in person. My admiration for him even increased after I met him for the first time. I thought he was charming and courteous, every bit the gentleman I expected him to be.

You can imagine my dismay, upon meeting him for the second time, to discover that he, too, had clay feet. I guess it is obvious, now that you have read my article, that I was offended by his remarks, which, at the time, I found to be not just insensitive, but offensive as well.

And just so you know, I would've found these remarks offensive no matter whom they came from, social history notwithstanding, (and I must say that I also got similar comments from people who were educated and therefore, should've known better).

While you have tried to defend Julio by bringing up the circumstances he was brought up in, I must say that this does not excuse him. Just because someone is a little "rough around the edges", it does not exempt him from common courtesy.

For in fact, "common courtesy", just like "common sense", is not learned in school. We are all born with a strong sense of what is "right" and what is "wrong". It is innate in all of us, whether or not we were taught by our parents.

But all that is water under the bridge. That incident took place almost eight years ago. Much has happened since then, and I now have three kids with LORENZO (whom Julio also knows) and the nonexistent waistline to show for it. Pointed remarks about my gaining weight now roll off my back like water on a duck. In other words, they don't bother me anymore.

I am sorry if I have offended Julio in turn by mentioning this little incident.

Sincerely Yours,

Renee Sereno